From Fear to Faith

         Photo by Ihor Malytskyi on Unsplash

She walked afraid. Each step forward a victory as the powers of darkness raged war around her. Her hand drew back, unprepared for the cold steel handle as she pulled open the door. She stopped as fear gripped her and her feet refused to move. Demons grinned at her hesitation. They knew she wouldn’t go through it. She always made promises to herself but she never kept them. Suddenly she heard the kind, gentle voice of an elderly woman, “Welcome, dear. I haven’t seen you here before. Let me help you find a seat.” She smiled at the older woman. Her voice reminded her of her grandmother. She followed her through the double doors and slipped beside her on a pew. She nervously tugged at her skirt. For the first time in her life she was embarrassed by its shortness. The woman patted her hand and directed her attention to the front of the church.

Listening attentively, her heart took in every word the man of God was preaching. He spoke of rest. A rest only found in Jesus Christ. Her soul was weary. She longed for that rest. But how could this Jesus give her that rest? The man of God spoke of sin. She knew her own sin well enough but he also spoke of Jesus’ love. Love enough to die on a cross for all who would believe…for her if she would believe. How could she believe in this love? No one loved her. Her mom was a drunk and her dad nowhere to be found. Men confessed their love to her but only to use and abuse her later.

A tear slipped from her cheek then another and another. She wiped them in embarrassment. No matter how hard she stuck her nail in her palm, she couldn’t stop the tears. They began to sing “Jesus Paid It All.” She glanced at the woman beside her. She wasn’t singing but her head was bowed and her lips moved rapidly in fervent prayer. She couldn’t take another moment of this agony.

“Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r and thine alone,
Can change the lepers’ spots
and melt the heart of stone.”

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved…” Ephesians 2: 4,5 (ESV)

She walked afraid but to the altar she fearlessly ran.

If you don’t know this love of Jesus, I’d be happy to share more about Him and what He did and is doing in my own heart and life. My email is hiswonderfuldeeds11@gmail.com.

Unholy Consummation {A Poem}

James 114

The eye beholds
An image marked
By Ruler Red
Branded with an “S”
Let us dread.
Lured and enticed
By our heart’s desire
Thinking on not from
Our wantonness mind.
Union of eye and heart
Conceiving devil’s desire
Birthing Sin
Child of death
Unholy consummation.

-Debbie Neal Crawford


My other poems from the Book of James:

Count It All Joy

Tongue Control

White As Snow

winter sceneIt was snowing the day I was born in Racine, Wisconsin. Flakes of white silently falling as I cried loudly to announce my arrival. A diverse individual created by God different from anyone else just as God makes each snowflake unique from another. I am sure that is why I love to see the dried leaves of fall covered with a fresh glistening blanket of paper white.

The snow reminds me of my sin. God took my blackened dead heart and gave me a new heart. He made it alive in Christ. The sin still ever-present but now clothed in Christ’s righteousness. He washed me white as snow.

David prayed it:

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7 ESV

To Israel God proclaimed it:

Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson. Isaiah 1:18 ESV

Leon Olguin sings of it:

White As Snow

White as snow white as snow

Though my sins were as scarlet

Lord I know Lord I know

That I’m clean and forgiven

Through the power of your blood,

Through the wonder of your love,

Through faith in you

I know that I can be

White as snow white as snow

Though my sins were as scarlet

Lord I know Lord I know

That I’m clean and forgiven

Through the power of your blood,

Through the wonder of your love,

Through faith in you I know

that I can be

White as snow.

Yes, I love snow but most of all the gospel that washes me white as snow.